Soaking...

I am really glad that warmer days are finally here.  Last night I decided to turn on the Jacuzzi heater a few hours before sunset to have the water just right for a relaxing moment later in the night.  As usual I mentioned my intent to my younger son as an enticing offer to come and chillax for a little while later in the evening.  At the moment he had been feeling a little under the weather because of some abdominal discomfort that had started two days earlier, so he replied by telling me he was not sure if he would be coming into the water or not.  The planet took its time rotating into the sunset position, but eventually without hesitation the earlier blue skies began to transform themselves into a kaleidoscope of colors that could defy the most talented artist to be able to reproduce on canvas.  I looked at the horizon and not only was I able to see the majestic beauty of it all, but also the constant reminder that the sunset also serves as an indicator that life is much more than the instant that we are in; time moves forward regardless of were we are in this great big blue ball.

Half an hour after I was soaking in the warm pleasant water I was surprised to see my youngest child walking out of the house in his swim trunks into the back yard carrying a towel.  Seconds later he was in the water and we were both back into our typical friendly sharing the moment mood.  Our massive planet had already rotated enough to block all of the powerful flow of photons ejected from our sun allowing the sky to darken enough for us to be able to see many of the brightest stars.  “Ahhhh, what a wonderful feeling of peace and normalcy…” my mind whispered into my consciousness.  One subject led to another and as usual our conversation flowed smoother than anyone could expect for it to flow between an old man and a 14 year old.  He too started writing a blog at the same time I began writing this one, and I have always been pleasantly surprised to know how incredibly consistent he has been at posting at least three times a week for the last nine months.  He talked about how more and more people were leaving comments to his posts, and also how much better of a speller he had become because of his effort.  However, more important than the content of our conversations was the true value of the moment that we shared; the bonding of father and son and the insight that we always gain into each other’s lives and our minds.

God has found a way to effortlessly reward me by allowing me to have a second child that brings an enormous amount of balance into my life.  When this child was only 6 months old we almost lost him to aseptic meningitis, which in many ways at the moment felt as a cruel reality of destiny.  I clearly remember the moment I was requested to hold on to him firmly as the physicians needed to insert what seemed as an enormous needle between his vertebrates to extract spinal fluid.  The infant’s tears flowed from his tiny eyes like a water fountain as he cried inconsolably from the pain of the spinal tap procedure.  I stayed strong and firm in my determination to not allow him to move while the experts performed their job, but my heart was anything but strong and firm.  Inside the anguish, the pain, the fear was cursing through my every fiber desperately seeking a way to reveal them too.  A week later after the boy was out of the hospital, I remember during a private moment getting down on my knees in gratitude and giving thanks to God for allowing me to still have my child.  Throughout the years my youngest son has by far exceeded all of my parental expectations and given me so many reasons to want to remain firm in my task as a father.  Many times I have wondered if in the middle of my darkest moments I would have been able to find the same strength to go on if this child was not in my life.  So in essence, I feel in debt to him for giving me so much of what I need to be a better father.

Ninety minutes after he walked into the hot spa water we both mostly forced ourselves to face to cooler outside air knowing that it was time to head to bed.  When I do this relaxation exercise in the evenings all on my own, I typically feel worn and ready to fall asleep after a quick shower.  The difference of doing this with my son is that he adds to the moment some of the fuel that I need as a father to recharge my efforts in parenting my other son.  We rarely talk about any of the problems that I am having parenting my oldest son, yet it is my oldest son that benefits the most of from it all.  At the most I might casually mention the status of our family affairs in what could almost be considered an executive level.  Maybe that is why my youngest son keeps coming back to spend time with his old man in the spa, because it is not just good for me, it is also good for him.

Dad