The Angels Around Us...

Consider the expression "no good deed goes unpunished" and how often those words seem to materialize themselves in your life. About a year ago, when my gadget itch got the best of me, I did the crazy act of getting in a line that wound itself around more than one block by six in the morning, just to be able to buy an iPad2 a few weeks after its original release. Somehow I talked myself into spending a good chunk of money in order to get myself what I obviously thought was a well deserved toy, something that I rarely and seldom ever do. My youngest son thought it was very cool, but since he is more of a Microsoft child he was able to contain his drooling to a minimum. However, my oldest son is hands down an Apple geek and it was easy for me to see in his eyes the lust and desire for my shinny new toy. I remember well the words "I can't afford to get you one now, but when they do an upgrade I will hand you down this one in order for me to get a new one" coming out of my parental guilt filled lips. As a dad that always keeps his promise, two weeks ago I got into my hands one of the newly released iPad models and true to my word I handed over my still in mint condition older tablet to my oldest son. In my mind I was sure I was doing the right thing, and much more so because the gift suddenly had coincided with a noticeable unpredictable spat of depression in my son's life. For a while he had been in such a positive and graceful mood that I was starting to think that someone had abducted my teenager and replaced him with an alien pod child. Honestly, it felt as if it all came out of nowhere when my son digressed back into his "why am I taking these classes and life makes no sense" mood, which is a familiar but very unwelcoming place for him and anyone around him. The iPad gift seemed to have switched on a new desire and inspiration for him to write poetry, dig into new reading material, and instantly be able to watch so many new things that I was sure it would somehow be a positive influence to the sudden somber mood that had just recently invaded his mind.

OK, now let's see how good a reader you are and if you are able to keep up with the following: Two weeks have gone by, and in summary we have spent $175 repairing the first broken display, $249 exchanging the now out of warranty gizmo because it decided to stop connecting to any Wi-Fi source with a refurbished one, $49 purchasing an accidental damage insurance, another $49 in a deductible in order to replace the 2 days ago purchased refurbished model because of a second broken display, $89 purchasing a heavy duty protective case to be used to house the not yet $49 replacement by another co-payed iPad that will have to be bought in a few days because of the third broken display that happened only hours after getting back from the Apple store in a freak kitchen accident. In less than a week over $660 plus tax have gone into this good deed I thought I was doing by handing down my previous iPad to my son in fulfillment of a year old promise. As I said, no good deed goes unpunished. I am not going to tell you that I am upset because the truth is that I cannot explain why, but I really am not. Frustrated yes, angry or upset no. I am frustrated that life has to take such a toll on me just to teach me a lesson. I am frustrated because I know that these accidents are surely taking a toll on my son's emotional state too. What started as good intentions can now only be described as a series on crazy events that almost seem like demonic possessions. I have even taken out a little bottle I have with Holy water and gone around my house spraying and praying while two white candles shimmer their glow next to a beautiful gifted cross and an image of the Virgin Mary that sit on my dresser as reminders that I have absolutely no power over a great deal of what surrounds me and my life.

Just as I finished taking my desperate Catholic learned behavior to its climax, I laid in my bed and checked my messages using the still intact newer model iPad that started all this mess for messages and found a note left by what to me can only be described as an angel. A long time friend whom I have not seen in years wrote to me in Spanish "Pasaba por aquí...un abrazo con cariño para ti" which translates to "As I passed by...a hug with affection for you." What a beautiful sentiment to leave for someone that is far away and unknowingly going through a difficult moment. Yes, I can only express this wanting to be described as coincidental message as the words of an angel. You see, she did not know how rough a week I had been enduring. In fact, she does not even know that today she actually was an angel. However, that is what she was without a doubt. In nine simple words she changed my frown into a smile. That is a powerful act that tops every word of encouragement that I have mustered to give to my son this week in my efforts of being a better father by not piling any anger on top of the craziness that has been going on in our lives. The power is not so much from the words in themselves, but rather from the genuine act of caring behind their true sentiment.

So tonight I leave you all with my bedtime prayer so that God has no choice but to listen to me every time one of you reads it...

"Dear Father, thank you for taking the time to answer my prayers by sending your message through my unknowing angel. Heal me, save me, bless me, so that I am able to be a better man tomorrow than what I was today. Give me the chance to also be an angel to someone else in their moment of pain or sorrow. In fact dear Lord, I kneel to you with my heart and soul in hand and beg you to cuddle them with your own so that I am able to recharge my life and follow you without hesitation. Amen."

Dad