One more prayer...

I have spent years praying to my almighty God to intervene in my life and bring peace to an otherwise chaotic parental existence. I've prayed in silence and I've prayed out loud. I've prayed on my knees, standing up, sitting down, and while I lay in my bed. I have no shame, I have prayed naked and clothed in just about every circumstance imaginable. In fact, sometimes I've woken up in the middle of the night and realized that I was praying in my dreams. Many of you know me and some of you have read my blog and have been part and shared my turbulent parental journey through the years and might be wondering if my prayers have ever been answered. The answer is simple, regardless of how much chaos is obvious and how difficult my circumstances have seemed, God has never left my side. If at any moment it might seem otherwise, I can assure you that it was I that moved away from the grace of God and not the other way around. I have learned that life is not about getting what you "want", but more so about getting what you "need" to keep going. What I have "wanted" has always been to heal and for an end to such a turbulent life. What I have gotten has been an endless supply of patience and unconditional love in order to weather the storm. You see, even I don't know what I really need in my life as well as my beautiful God knows and then takes care of it all. After all, He is a God of love and in spite of my short minded abilities, He is powerful beyond my comprehension. And so once more I pray: "Dear God, you are amazing and almighty in every possible way. Thank you for knowing my heart better than I know it myself and for giving me what I need and not what I ask. Heal, save, and bless me, my children, and all of those that are part of my life. Amen."