Bouncing back...

I would like to ask a dear favor from all of the believers that read my blog, if too much time goes by and I have not posted anything in here please do a little prayer for me. It could be that the only reason that I have not written anything is because I suddenly had to depart of business travel, in which case I can always use your prayers for the simple request to make it back home safely. Another less likely reason could simply be that I finally kicked the bucket and am on my way to hopefully meet the Lord, in which case I believe that I could never have too many prayers to help me smoothen out any indecisions from saint Peter to allow me in. However, the most likely reason is typically tied to me falling into a moment of desperation and frustration with the parenting of my oldest son; in which case I totally could use your divine connections to help me get through the moment at hand.

As much as I would love to report that my absence has been due to a business trip, the truth is much less appealing. We all come to expect setbacks in our lives which will in one way or the other bring us back to that dreadful place of anxiety and despair. When the life experience is tied to a well needed moment of personal growth it is not uncommon for us to eventually get back off our knees, dust ourselves off, and keep charging forward. However, when the event that entangles our day has much less of an “I can beat this problem” flavor, recovery can take a much longer time. In the process I personally feel as if I am being hog tied to the back bumper of a truck and taken for a drag through some very nasty terrain. Unfortunately that is the nature of parenting a child that is not only wired mostly backwards from the rest, but also insists on trying to fix himself and refuses to accept advice, counsel, and any kind of treatment that might help from others including myself. It is a nasty business this crazy road dragging experience. Emotions run high and after a while I start to feel as if the little bit of faith that remains in my heart is the only thing that holds all of my parts together and keeps me from becoming totally unglued.

So here I sit tonight, writing the little bit that I am able to without really letting any of you in. It might sound totally unfair of my part to not share the chaos of the moment, yet I feel as if I have very little choice in the matter. This I do, not because I fear for myself, but mostly because I fear for anything that might be in our path. It is much easier to tell you about it later, when the handle of the pan is much cooler and easier to hold on to. I remember when I was going to college in Mississippi, one day driving back from a long day of classes and my part time job, and as I took the final turn realizing that an old beautiful southern home less than a tenth of a mile from my place had burned down to the ground. Just that morning the structure was intact as I drove on my way to school. How could it be that so much damage could have happened in such a short amount of time? I did not presence the raging fire that had obviously consumed all but the brick remains of a fireplace, but still it was totally obvious to me how devastating it must have all been while it was happening. Charred pieces of lumber revealed the incessant furry of the flames leaving smoking embers as its only evidence in the end. This is just the same with the path I find myself walking about in my life with my oldest son. At times the furry and devastation in his mind wreak havoc on everything that is close to him. Unfortunately I am probably the closest thing to him at almost any instant in his young wreck less life, which means that I am not left intact, much less undamaged emotionally. It takes me a while to recover, to recharge, to find a way to be normal again, but I always do in the end. As Joel Osteen would say, I have “bounce back power.” Just like the mighty palm trees bounce back after a hurricane, I too eventually find my way back to “looking good.” In the meantime, do a little prayer for me…I could really use some Divine intervention!

Dad