They say that you can typically tell if someone is lying by the number of excuses they give you when you challenge them on any particular incident. If the individual being challenged gives you a simple answer and then stops, chances are that they are telling you the truth. If on the other hand the individual goes on giving you a multitude of answers to the same question, then chances are that the truth is safely hidden behind a wall of lies. I could tell you that the reason I have not posted as often lately is because my computer crashed during a Windows update and getting back online has been an ordeal, then I could add that my hands have been occupied trying to fix a leaky roof that during the recent rains flooded my living room with over 55 gallons of water. Also, I could tell you that I have not been feeling so well because I have been sick with the flu and its aftermath of coughing for four weeks in a row now, and finally I could add that getting ready for the impending holidays are consuming every spare moment of my days. However, even though none of the above are lies, the real reason I have not posted as much recently is actually tied to a much simpler answer. I have not posted as much lately because things are much better, calmer, and I am truly enjoying what started as the eye of the storm, and has slowly become a simpler tropical depression. Nothing is ever perfect, I could not claim such a degree of fortune, but things are under control and working themselves out with the passage of time. There are impending challenges that will probably create enough stress when the time of facing them is at hand, but in the meantime I have decided not to work myself up into a frenzy and worry about them constantly. I suggest that you as a faithful reader also take advantage of these calmer times and come into my blog at least once or twice a week to catch up with my more recent posts so that we can all share some of the better times of parenting my teenage boys.
Traditions are a wonderful thing, especially during holiday times. For Christians all over the world, the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated interestingly enough four months earlier than when it was more accurately recorded in history. For me, Christmas is much more than a time to celebrate the birth of the King of all kings. During this special season of the year, cultural and family traditions bring a special kind of glue into my life that helps bond my family and friendship relationships. Even if I simply stay at home, snuggling under a warm cozy blanket sipping on a drink and watching silly old movies, Christmas is always a good time to add special moments into my busy life for later access by my mind and heart. I don't think that I can have an easier recollection of special moments in my life than that of those that occurred during my childhood during the Christmas holidays. So many special memories are recorded of my family being together doing everything from cutting our own Christmas tree, decorating inside and outside the house, attending family gatherings, the food, drinks, and of course, the all consuming childhood anxiety of waiting to open our presents on Christmas morning. There has to be a reason why these moments, out of the billions of moments that I have lived throughout my life are so much more clear in my mind than the rest. I am sure that someone much more clever than me has the answer, however, I am content with my own ignorance due to the fact that all that matters to me is that these memories are mostly good and still bring joy to my life.
Times have changed significantly as to how Christmas is celebrated in Puerto Rico. During my parent's childhood there was no such thing as Santa Claus. Instead, children eagerly awaited some kind of present brought to them by the Three Wise Men that in religious history had brought gifts to baby Jesus after his birth. Instead of a big fat jolly old man riding on a magical sled with flying reindeer propulsion, the three magical kings arrived riding on their camels. Just as milk and cookies were a prerequisite to keep the fat guy going from house to house, a good handful of long blades of green grass tied up with a string or ribbon, and some water was left by our beds to ensure the mystical camels had the strength to get through the busy night of delivering presents to children all over the world. It was told that only those children that put the grass and water at the foot of their beds would be rewarded with some kind of gift, so what was there to lose by getting out of bed and hunting for the "good" grass to guarantee that the Wise Men's camels would know where to stop to recharge. In my own times, this tradition remained alive and well, so I too did the deed of showing my gratitude to the camels even though Santa had already gone out of his way to bring me gifts a few weeks earlier. Sure enough, it never failed, the morning after I too had something special placed at the foot of my bed by my loving "Wise Parents" holding on to our cultural traditions.
I must of been around six years old and my cousin was even younger than me. I remember that a few nights before the traditional arrival of the "Three Magical Kings" we laid flat on the ground in front of my grandparents home staring at the night sky full of stars. We were both searching for the three stars (Orion's belt) that had been assigned in the night sky to represent the Wise Men and their camels. In awe we pondered how it was that these icons could travel from so far away and know exactly at which house to stop by to bring presents. For at least an hour we laid there just looking up and fantasizing about their powers. Not once, not a single time did I doubt this tradition to be a farce or a lie. In my mind and in my heart I had absolutely no place for anything else other than belief. In fact, even after years later I was told the truth of the whole matter, I spent at least one more year in doubt that the confessor might still be lying. Looking back at this stage of my life I now realize that the eventual realization that Santa Claus and the Three Wise Men were not real was probably the most transforming realization of my entire childhood. The innocence that magically wrapped and bonded my mind and heart as a child was completely tied to my knowledge of this all consuming truth. My parents were truly wise in never admitting that they had been the givers all along. Instead they bribed us with the challenge that any child that did not believe in Santa or the Three Wise Men were at the disadvantage of not getting any presents. So of course I played along and pretended to believe for many more years in order to get my presents too. In essence, I believe that the actual moment in which I acknowledged that these were childhood fantasies and not reality, that was the exact moment in which I made a separation of heart and mind. The magical bond was virtually broken.
To all of this I have a serious confession to make to my readers. As an adult when questioned by my mother whether or not I believe in Santa or the Three Wise Men, the answer is always a resounding "YES!" Even though my mind might acknowledge that they are not real, my heart remains faithful to how real they were during my childhood. We both laugh because she obviously questions my belief in an effort to bribe me to say what she wants to hear me say. Remember, if I say no, that means I am too old to get a present. However, I am extremely surprised how quick and easy it is for me to answer her in an affirmative gesture. Contrary to the consensus that when someone is lying they typically give multiple answers to the question, I have but one single answer to her query, and that again is simply "Yes!" No more, no less. Could it be that I am actually telling the truth? I think so. If not in my mind, at least in my heart I believe that my answer is real. I believe that my parents loved me so much that they are and will always be the collection of what I most desired while I was a child. They are my "Three Wise Men" and they are my "Santa Claus" and I believe in them more than in anyone else in the world because of their infinite ability to love me regardless of anything else. After all, it is my heart that is answering without a doubt that question. In my ability to feel their love I find absolutely no reason to lie, so the answer is a resounding "Yes!"
Dad
Monday, December 21, 2009
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