Filters, they are not just for water...

36 gallons of water per hour. That is the rate at which I found myself removing water from my living room during last week's rain storms. After two and a half days of almost continuous rain, by Wednesday night the ground around my home was so saturated that water started to creep in through a small crack in the corner of my sunken living room. Sealing the crack was not an option while it was raining even though I tried and failed miserably. Putting in a pump that would evacuate the water was also not an option since I would have to allow the area to remain flooded to a level high enough for the pump to work, while also ruining my drywall in surrounding area. Unfortunately the only thing at the moment that I could do was pray that it would stop raining, and continue the painstaking task of carrying the nine gallon bucket of my wet shop vacuum, which weighs around 80 pounds when full of water, out to the front of the house and on to the street. I tried to stay awake and keep at it, but by Friday morning I was exhausted at 2:00 a.m. and fell asleep. When I woke up close to 6:00 am. I found myself with over 100 gallons of water in my living room. It did not stop raining until Friday night. By Saturday I was able to get some professional advice and started the task of creating a more effective drain system around my home to prevent this mess from happening again. I am almost half way done and guess what, rain is in the forecast for tomorrow night again! Hopefully I'll have enough work done to keep the water level low enough and avoid having to miss work again just to save my home from disaster.

My home is in a beautiful neighborhood halfway down the slope of a mountain. The better the draining systems are on the houses above mine, the more efficient I have to build the draining solution to my own home. Four homes above mine the owner spent over $15,000 building a concrete wall surrounding his foundation and going three feet deep to be able to survive the same problem a few years back. I suspect that this problem was something the seller needed to disclose to me before I purchased this home, but maybe he had never run into the problem while he occupied the property. Leaky roof, leaky foundation, they all sound strangely suspect to me. Statistically speaking I find it hard to believe that he had not faced some of these problems in the past. Actually, once I was able to narrow down the exact place in which the water was coming in, I noticed some rubbery material around the problematic area which makes me think that the previous owner had tried to fix this or a similar problem in the past. So, why would he take the risk of me taking legal action for not disclosing the problem? How does this correlate to many people's ability to convince themselves that by not saying something, they might not be lying? We all know all too well that this is very common among younger adults, which seem to be amazed when you confront them of something that they were doing wrong but apparently had felt no guilt at all until they were caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar afterwards. It is pretty much like saying that you are not cheating or lying until the moment that you get caught cheating or lying!

A common theme in my posts is my admitting to making many mistakes in my life which have taught me the lessons to be a better father. It is not good enough to simply admit my failings, I need to do something to avoid making the same mistakes again in order to grow. The same thought process is applicable to my children. Yes, they do need to make their own mistakes to learn, but they also need to find ways to stop making those mistakes over and over again. How many times should I need to feel the painful sensation of electricity running through my body for me to learn not to stick metal object inside an electric socket? Unless I enjoy pain, you would think that once would probably be enough. So how many times do teenagers need to get caught making pitiful choices in their lives before they decide to make the right ones? For some children the lessons are learned very quickly, but then for others it almost feels as if they are going to be our age and still be making the same mistakes over and over again.

We finally got through the complete 10 week process of counseling which was required by the court to clear my son from his juvenile legal problem that he got himself into almost a year ago. In fact, because of some problems we ran into, he ended taking 18 weeks instead of 10. You would think that from the professional side 18 weeks should do more good than 10, but in his situation it worked out backwards. The longer the process, the more apathetic he became to the speakers and what was being taught. By the end, his mother would be begging him to not say anything during the meetings because all that he wanted to say was so negative and counterproductive, making his situation worse with the administrators of the program. I did learn that when the speaker of the weekly topic was someone that treated the attendees with respect and did not talk down to them, he was much more receptive and agreeable. If the subject expert would not show and the lecture was left to be taught by the director of the program, he would be enraged by the end of the hour and literally shaking while trying to contain himself to not explode and say something offensive. Was my son the problem, or was the director the problem? I want to tell it as it is and not sugar coat it. As an adult, even I was offended by the way the director of the program addressed the audience. I am not saying that my son was right and she was wrong. What I am saying is that the administrator did not help the cause one bit with her patronizing and down talking attitude towards the kids in the room. This is a serious problem with some of these "help" programs. Instead of getting the kids in the room to want to attend and listen, just one bad attitude from the counselors and the whole program becomes almost a total waste of time. Thank God it is over for now.

I am glad I experienced the above situation. Watching professionals screw up so badly the effort of helping young people gives me a bit of relief about the mistakes that I have made as a father with my own parenting efforts. Having the opportunity to see others do something badly, allows me to learn from their mistakes. Not all was a waste of time, at least I learned a lot of what not to do when trying to communicate with my son. Also, some of the speakers where quite enlightening and their topics useful. It is too bad that the people that should actually have the best grip on how to reach young minds, are sometimes the ones with the least aptitude for the job. We have all seen this with a few teachers that truly have not business teaching young minds because of their terrible attitude and incredibly bad skills. But life is exactly like that, with people that withhold information, lie, and many times even mislead others in many ways. I hope my son can learn from this without becoming so disenchanted with adults overall to not allow himself to grow from the ones that are actually out there trying to do some good. I have a filter that I have learned to put in place in order to screen the good and the bad from those that surround me. I know well that I am not able to change people, so what would be the use of getting into heated arguments with anyone with which I disagree? Instead I take what I can use and is worth taking, the rest I dispose of almost instantly. This take practice to do it well, but it is essential that my son learn it soon so that he too can grow with others instead of isolating himself from others. I am working on a plan on how to teach him this lesson. Know all I need is for him to lower his guard long enough to allow himself to learn. Time, it takes time to get it right.

Dad