Anonymous...

As you read this blog, you might think that I am a very public individual that is willing to pour his heart out upon request. It certainly might seem that way from so many personal stories that I have shared with you so far. However, I want you to know that nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, this is probably the greatest challenge I have forced myself to face in my entire life. This medium might give the initial impression that I am trying to teach you something, and if in the process of me sharing my stories you are learning something useful, then that is fine with me. However, the truth is that I do not write in order to be heard, I write in order to hear what you might have to say to me that might help. As much as I have learned in my journey to become an effective father, I still have what seems as oceans of doubt with respect to parenting, teenage behavior, and what sometimes feels like a unique and very hard to deal with reality with my oldest son. So you see, as therapeutic as my blog truly is for me, my main goal is really to learn from the wisdom of others, including you.

When I called my sister in Plano Texas yesterday, probably the most loyal reader to this blog, she once again found a way to provoke my thirst to discover more answers to so many of my questions about parenting. I can tell that she cares immensely for me and my family. From the instant she climbed aboard what now seems more like the "Starship Dad4Life" with a mission to boldly go where no father has gone before and explore the parenting challenges of teenagers, she has constantly provided me with great feedback. One of the main reasons that the relationship with my sister works so well is because in between her advice a robe of love envelopes each word with constant encouragement. It would be very hard for me not to listen to her when she is always interjecting compassion with her words. Part of her advice yesterday was for me to ask you to share more by writing comments, giving your own advice, and sharing your own stories. Her biggest questions were, "Who else is going through these kind of problems?...What do other people do to cope?...Are there other resources that any reader has found that have helped them?" All excellent questions that I am sure everyone reading could benefit from their answers.

We are on the verge of crossing the 2,600 hits on this blog in which I started posting less than 6 months ago. It still amazes me that so many of you are able to find the time to read it. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you and once again encourage you to write to me or share with the rest of the class your own stories, comments, and advice. Remember that you can post your words anonymously and your privacy will be always be respected. If you know of someone that has travelled this crazy parenting road and could inject their knowledge for all of us to learn from, please forward them the link to this post so that they can read and contribute. If you know of someone that could benefit from our shared experiences, it would also be great if you sent them the link so that they can participate.

What do you have to say? Interesting question, huh? There is plenty to be learned from our parents, grandparents, and elders. There is also plenty to be learned from our own children when you give them the opportunity to speak up and tell you what they are thinking. I managed to be the nosy dad and find the recent letter that "anonymous," another teenager, sent to my son and two of his friends. Honestly, I am baffled and truly impressed with what it contained. If it were not because I feel as if I was betraying someones trust by doing so, I would love to post it here for all of you to read. Maybe in time my son will be in a better place and I'll be able to ask his permission to post it. For now my comments will have to do some kind of justice about its content. The outside envelope had all the tell tails that identified it as written by another teenager. the inside however, was typed and then printed with an effort to conceal the originator's identity. Each of the three recipients were individually addressed with clever and even poetic nicknames. To each individual the writer confessed how much he or she cared for them and for what reason such a bond existed. Then in beautiful words the worries of a comrade revealed themselves expressing fear not only to the path the three readers were on with the use of drugs, but also for how their personalities were being eroded with their careless behavior. I really wish I knew the identity of the writer. In the context of all that was written, love, fear, hurt, compassion, worry, and genuine concern was all summarized in a single page. There was no abusive terms, no delinquent expressions of hate or anger. Instead, in a noble effort of true friendship this individual was able to express eloquently every single one of my parental fears at whatever his or her tender age might be. This my dear readers is nothing short of God's loving hand inspiring a selfless soul to reach into the heart of some very complicated teenage minds. If this young and wild free spirit is able to teach anything to my son, should there not be hope of us older and tamed parents to teach each other too? Really, what do you have to say?

Dad