God's Sense of Humor & Teenagers.

WARNING: This post contains subject matter that might be offensive to some. I you are easily offended by religious controversy, jokes, or someone saying something that is against your own religion, please stay out of my closet, this post is most definitely not for you....don't say I didn't warn you! Otherwise come on in...let's have a little fun.

I have always wondered where God got his sense of humor. Think about it, if He was here before anything else, where exactly did He learn all this stuff and how it was supposed to work? No parents huh? That might explain a lot. To start with, have you ever heard about God having a wife? Nope, as far as I can tell not one time is it mentioned anywhere. I find this awfully convenient, the fact that He can go around willy nilly doing things his way without having to account to a supreme Mom or Wife! In fact, we see that in several belief systems He even offers virgins in heaven to those that do his will here on Earth. I am not sure about you guys, and I am talking to the men that might be reading, but if it is up to me, He can keep his virgins and let us keep the wonderfully not so virgin women of Earth. I am pretty sure ours can take His bunch down any day in the wonderful party of life.

I think we can all agree that the hardest time in life for parents is while their kids are growing up until they reach maturity. Some kids are well on their way to being straight arrows and good men and women by the time they are out of their teens. However, if you had a choice and had to be really sure about it, it is not until they reach somewhere in their thirties that they finally get what life is truly all about. In other words, let them have a few kids of their own, realize what a joy it is to have to worry about the little buggers long enough, and then finally enlightenment arrives as to how smart their parents really were.

This all brings me to the next oh so wonderful thought about our Creator. It is said in more than one place that God loved us so much that He sent us his only Son to be with us, teach us, and forgive us of all our sins. Hmmm, this all seems awfully suspicious to me. Kind of convenient don't you think? How do we know that it was not because little J was being a pain not wanting to go to school and that Earth was the equivalent of a boarding or military school? Interestingly enough, the kid did his thing and grew up here on Earth, and finally when he had made something of himself, woosh! He was dragged back to Heaven next to his Father. This whole sending his Son here to Earth might explain a lot about why this place is so hard to be in. If we are living in some kind of boot camp to better ourselves, OK, I got it then. Otherwise why are we constantly struggling to find peace within and with others?

Please do not misunderstand me. I was raised as a believer and as a young man spent all of my years before college attending Catholic school, and no priest or nun ruined me for life. It might of been scary as hell to have to go to the principle's office, but nope, for good or for bad I cannot blame them for my current outbursts. In fact, while my younger sister was playing kick ball with all the other kids in the morning I was an altar boy every single week day before school. Later, I always participated in church choir, I was one of the speakers during religious retreats for kids my age, and eventually became a Eucharistic Minister during my years in college taking Communion to those who could not attend mass because they were bedridden. So no, I am not damaged religious goods. What I really am is upset that God almighty was able to send little J to Earth while he was growing up and I am stuck here with little A having to deal with his crap day in and day out. Ufff, that was a mouth full, I am so for sure going to be playing poker with a bunch of you in hell one of these days, aren't I?

I have read several books on the subject of reincarnation and the afterlife. I find the subject fascinating and most definitely worth looking into. Not that anyone really has much of a clue of what is going to happen once we kick the bucket, but just being able to experience the possibilities in my mind are a great treat. Some experts say that we come back over and over again in sort of a purification process, like filtering my delicious sangria through a metal colinder to make sure that only the good stuff gets back into the bottle after some of the fruit have already gone sour. Apparently we are not able to remember what we were doing in between lives, but at the moment that you are on the other end of the fence, you can see everything that you did during your previous lives. They say that we ourselves make the decision of whether to come back again and learn or purify ourselves some more or not. Damn, I must of been one dirty little bastard in my previous lives because I am getting the scrubbing of a lifetime here this time. They also say that children pick their parents, and not the other way around. In other words, before heading back to the big blue ball called earth, we select who we want to be our parents. So, sorry mom and dad, especially for all the grief that all of us four kids have caused you through the years. Now this I truly want to believe. Think about it, who in their right mind would want to pick as their son someone that is constantly running you through the wringer of frustration and pain? No, it does make sense that it is all the opposite as these so called experts claim it is, in which the little rascals pick us knowing that we will probably not choke them to death when they decide to wreak havoc in our lives.

This is one smart soul which I share my household with, because I can truly say I love him with the deepest and strongest emotion any father could love his child. In fact, I remember clearly what a blind host from a Catholic retreat told me when I told him that I did not understand why everyone was feeling all of these things that I could not feel. Charismatic retreats have a tendency to be very emotional and filled with people speaking in tongues, a lot of crying, and their share of dancing and singing. It is not that I felt nothing, it is just that I felt nothing that would make me cry, speak in tongues, or make me want to sing and dance. They had said during the retreat that we were all given a gift in life, and that it would reveal itself to most during the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Now this is something that I don't even joke around about because if there is one sure way to piss off God I believe it is to joke around or dismiss this wonderful gift of receiving the Holy Spirit. So I took my concern to this young and inspiring blind man and asked him why it was that I felt that I had not been given any particular gift. The wise inspiring fellow said that my gift from God was my ability to love without barriers or end. His answer was at the time what I thought to be a cop out, but later in life I have realized to be true.

Yes, I have learned that God's amazing sense of humor entailed Him to give me the gift of boundless love to my sons. Without it I would be reaching for a rope and doing a little Judas dance at the end of the day. As much as I feel offended, sometimes betrayed, and many times hurt, with that same intensity and consistency I feel I love my children in return. Oh, I don't feel any more special than you do yourself, since I am sure that most of you have all been granted this amazing ability to love your chipmunks this way too. Thank God for his sense of humor and giving us this gift, otherwise there would be very little to worry about overpopulating the planet, don't you think?

Here is a little prayer that I would like to share with you, and I would be so grateful if you found the time to once in a while offer in yours and my name too. I really appreciate all of my friends and family that pray for us here at my home...

Father, today I pray to thank you for all the good, and all the bad that has entered into my life. I know that there must be a purpose, a meaning to it all even though I am not able to understand it myself. Please refill my heart with love so that I am able to continue to love all of those that are in my life even when they hurt me. Please give them the ability to love and forgive me when I hurt them too. This road you have given me is hard and full of challenges, so please send your Angels to guide me and protect me on my journey to You. Heal the heart of my kids, teach them to be honorable, and allow me to see them become good men. Amen.

Thanks for visiting my blog, I hope you are enjoying reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it. Again, if you want to leave a comment, please do.

Dad