Relativity and Making Time...

When a dear friend of mine shared with me how upset he was with his job due to a not so good performance evaluation done by his supervisor I found myself giving him advice that in all honesty I have not been so good at taking myself. He said that the evaluation rating in itself was not as upsetting as the comments that came from his supervisor to justify it. I could understand him just fine and for just a few seconds almost got on the pity wagon with him to bitch about all sorts of unhappy issues that have to do with work, workplace, and surely enough the old money thing too. Instead I found myself digging deep inside me to find some words that might actually help him instead of bringing him down even more. I told him to imagine that two days from the moment of our conversation his wife would come home from a visit to her doctor with news that she had a terrible disease, such as cancer. I then asked him, how important would the evaluation rating, the comments, or even his supervisor himself be in relation to this awfully painful news? Would he still be upset about a mere piece of paper, someone else's opinion of his person or work abilities, or even the money aspect of it all? The point I was making to him was that most of the things that upset us on a daily basis are just relative to the rest of the things that are happening to us in our lives. I also explained to him how I've discovered that if I wait for things to be perfect, or even just right, to then begin to be happy, that I would be a very unhappy person indeed. I told him that we have a choice not to allow every bit of bad news to bring us down or ruin our days. What I recommended him to do was to take every thing that seems to be upsetting at the moment, hit the fast forward button, and take a look at it again. If it will not matter in five or ten years, then it should not matter so much now either.

Indeed, I do believe these things that I say sometimes to my friends in need of a picker upper. But I also know how hard it is for any of us to apply them to ourselves. Relativity is not just a concept in the world of physics, it seems to apply to every day life too. It is way too often that I find myself so frustrated, disappointed, sad, or angry, that I would never smile if these things ruled my life. Yes, in the exact moment of it all I cannot help myself but feel these emotions, after all I am not the tin man. However, if any of you know me at all, you all know that I am always readily available to give you a smile, a compliment, and even a physical show of affection when you cross my path. I don't force myself to do this, it is just in my nature. Just as much as it is in my nature to blow a fuse in my typical hot blooded Latin way, I have this gift that was given to me since birth to bring a bit of love into everything I do...and you should too.

I will not lie. I am probably one of the most emotional persons you will ever meet. I am a sucker for stories that touch the heart, music that reaches deep into the soul, and most of all affection. The way I see it, if you are not talented enough to write beautiful poems or music, the least you can do is learn how to show your feelings with a gentle touch, being affectionate, and hopefully learn to be a good kisser...hahaha! I am pretty sure that nobody ever complains about a nice kiss.

In the middle of some of my troubles with my son I have been a very hard man. Some of the things I have said have probably cut deep into his young person. I regret all of those moments from the deepest part of my heart. Yes, he has done so too and probably much worse, but remember that I am the adult in this relationship. I should be able to set the example, to place the bar at a place of minimum damage as possible. I have tried to do so, but have many times failed. In return I have offered my love to heal whatever damage I might of caused. Not a day goes by that I do not hug the fuzzy young man, and if I can help it, not a day goes by when I don't say I love you at least once. Is that enough? Probably not, but at least I try and my words never leave my lips without them first taking at least one lap around my heart.

Almost two years ago I made an attempt to write the lyrics for a song for my son to have in his back pocket in case he needs something from his old man to share with the rest of the world. I am not a composer by any stretch of the imagination, but I did this from that little place called soul, so be kind in your critique and imagine someone with a great voice (not me) singing it...

Making Time

I see between the blinds…a reflection of a man.
It isn’t all that great…and I just can’t understand.
What I find is me…It is really me.
Not the boy I was…but the man I am.

They ask me what’s going wrong…and I don’t know what to say.
The voices in my mind…are to loud and so I pray.
They just tell me things…way too many things.
Of the life I’ve lived…and where I am today.

Making time in my head…to be alive and not so dead.
Finding spaces in my mind…where I’ve never been before.
Taking sand out of my bottle…cleaning up all my mistakes.
Writing letters to my children…finding things that I regret.

Making time in my heart…fixing pieces part by part.
Finding echoes in my soul…that remind me what I’ve done.
Chasing memories of moments…picking notes on my guitar.
Just to put together something…so that I can understand.

The fury in my life…makes the river oh so wide.
Like twisters in the field…just forcing me to hide.
I just run away…run so far away.
To protect myself…and to save my pride.

The lessons are too hard…and the school is wet and cold.
The teachers changing names…while my hair is getting old.
Did I get here late…is it way too late?
Are the tickets gone…for a life that’s sold?

Making time in my head…to be alive and not so dead.
Finding spaces in my mind…where I’ve never been before.
Taking sand out of my bottle…cleaning up all my mistakes.
Typing letters to my children…finding things that I regret.

Making time in my heart…fixing pieces part by part.
Finding echoes in my soul…that remind me what I’ve done.
Chasing memories of moments…picking notes on my guitar.
Just to put together something…so that I can understand.

The moments come and go…but the path is still not clear.
The riddles’ incomplete…adding mortar to my fear.
Can I find a sight…where there might be light?
Find a prize at last…to protect what’s dear.

I pause to hear the sounds…of a momentary song.
The image becomes clear…and I see that nothing’s wrong.
Are they tempting fate…the two lives I’ve shaped?
They’re my solid ground…anchors firm and strong.

Making time in my head…to be alive and not so dead.
Finding spaces in my mind…where I’ve never been before.
Taking sand out of my bottle…cleaning up all my mistakes.
Typing letters to my children…finding things that I regret.

Making time in my heart…fixing pieces part by part.
Finding echoes in my soul…that remind me what I’ve done.
Chasing memories of moments…picking notes on my guitar.
Just to put together something…so that I can understand.

Dad