The Eye of the Storm...

For the past ten years I have suffered from the most excruciating migraine headaches imaginable. I grade them on a scale of zero through ten, zero being a total absence of any kind of head pain, and ten being so bad that I must lock myself in a dark room for hours at a time to avoid wanting to die rather than imagine the pain getting any worse. Originally, as I had my first episodes I never imagined that something as simple as a headache could actually be so painful. Soon, after a horrible period of three months in a row in which I had what are considered cluster migraines, I discovered that the degree of pain possible from this condition can actually make the first few that I originally suffered a welcome relief if there existed some kind of exchange policy to make the trade. I have heard that only those that have had this condition are actually able to relate to anyone that is having an episode at any given moment. For those who have been fortunate enough to never feel this kind of pain, the word migraine is just another way of describing a bad headache. For those of us that have had the misfortune of bearing with this medical condition, the word migraine has a completely different meaning.

One of the few things that anyone suffering from migraines is able to do in order to help themselves is to discover what are the triggers that cause these unbearable headaches to start. Another of the few things that helps is to recognize the symptoms early enough to medicate yourself before they become excruciating on the pain scale. About five years ago while I was on work travel in Hawaii, I was unfortunate enough to fall into a few days of agony by suffering a migraine headache for almost four days in a row. Later I fortunately discovered that in my adventurous search for the perfect Mai Tai, the pineapple ingredient happened to be one of those elusive triggers that I previously spoke about. After learning the hard way that if I drink pineapple juice or anything containing this marvelous natural ingredient I am almost 95% sure to trigger a migraine headache, my list of favorite tropical treats dropped down to just a few instead of the so many available. This is such a drag because I make the most amazingly delicious Piña Colada! Oh well, I know leave the tasting of my treat to friends instead. Another of the few triggers that I have discovered and now avoid are MSG, cigarette smoke, and recently I have discovered that the smell of marijuana does it to me too. Fortunately for me most of the above are easy to avoid, unless of course someone we all now know tries to party in my own home and I get a whiff of his deed by second hand smoke.

I really thought that by Monday I would have recovered from the 16 hour time difference from Japan to California, but unfortunately for me sleeping was not on my bodies agenda. By the time I finally fell asleep it was already almost four in the morning and three hours later my alarm clock was playing the first track of one of Marc Anthony's CD to remind me that I still have kids to feed and at least one that is willing to attend school. Afterwards my mind was encouraging me to get dressed and go to work, but my body refused to obey and dragged my tired carcass to bed again. Finally, sometime in the early afternoon I woke up feeling much better, but also knowing that later in the night I would pay the price by not being able to fall asleep again early enough. Hence my typing away this post at almost one in the morning.

I had gone to Costco looking for a few easy to cook goodies for the boys, which included some meatballs. When hunger stroke I popped a few of the reasonably sized treats into the microwave with some rice and got ready to clear my body from it's state of food deprivation. Less than one hour later I started to feel the oh so familiar onset of one of those dreadful migraine headaches I sometimes get out of nowhere. Immediately I took my medication thinking it would be safer to do it as soon as possible than wait until it would creep up on my zero through ten pain scale. Well, sometimes I take one, other times I take two of the miracle pills. This time, not wanting to abuse their magical power I only took one, which turned out to be a huge mistake. In less than thirty more minutes I was in so much pain that I reluctantly found myself rescaling what a ten level of pain really was supposed to feel like. I kid you not, the nausea was horrible, the pain excruciating, and so many of the other symptoms showed up as quickly as goldfish surface to eat their little flakes in a fish bowl. I tried not to have to consume more than I needed, but by 1:00 a.m. I have already taken three of the little blue pills, and trust me when I tell you, these are not the ones that keep a cat's tail erect if consumed by accident.

I since have gone back to the kitchen to do what I should of done in the first place before making dinner and read the label on the box of meatballs. Yep, the once so delicious treat and now source of my misery are made with pineapple! Yeash, it said it like four times all over the freaking box, but I never did pay much attention to the wording and mostly had focused on the appealing picture instead. I have very little choice in the matter, let the pain run its course and obviously never eat the damn things again.

Not all is bad news though. In my effort to treat myself to some home remedy I turned on the heater for the jacuzzi and a few hours later dunk myself into the steamy hot water which truly helped make things a lot better. What became gravy on the whole issue was that about thirty minutes after I went in, my oldest son walked over, rolled up his jeans, and sat on the edge soaking his big feet and keeping me company. The occasion was ideal and I took advantage of it to talk and catch up on a few things. I think that what became more therapeutic than the almost boiling water was the ambiance in which we both shared this time together. It was really good, I mean REALLY good. In his typical openness towards me he talked about a lot of what had happened to him while I was gone. Just as I have mentioned before, he left very little out of the vocal exchange by telling me how by inviting just a few friends over to sit around and talk, one of the evenings had turned into a massive amount of unsupervised kids in my home, most of them which he did not even know. Apparently the get together lasted until about four in the morning, and then several of his close friends helped to clean up the mess they had made while this unplanned party evolved. I told him I was surprised that none of the neighbors had called the cops complaining about the noise and he told me that it was not really a party, and that everyone was just hanging and having fun without doing anything totally stupid, which of course I find hard to believe but am left with little choice, right? By the end one of the guys told him that they had done too good of a job cleaning and that would probably give away the reality that had taken place at my home. Little did this young man know that part of my son's personality includes a uncontrollable urge to tell his dad the truth, even if it drives me insane, angry, and up the proverbial wall. What can I say, I just have to take the good with the bad, my choices are extremely limited.

Soon after, my other son popped his head out of the back sliding door and said, "hey, I did not know you guys were out here..." and went back in to put on his swim suite and joined us for even more interesting conversation and bonding. If I took the time to write to you all that we shared it would take me over another hour, so instead I will give you a short synopsis. After all of the past week event conversation the subject turn course to science, progress, war, nuclear consequences, smart people getting smarter, dumb people getting dumber, lost phones, interesting happenings during my trip to Japan, and the always on their mind allowances. I am going to try to get some rest so that I can get up in just a couple of hours, make breakfast again, take my younger son to school, and hopefully convince my aging body to follow my mind to work instead of bed.

I do want to leave you with a motive for my late night posting to share what I discovered tonight. In the middle of every hurricane there is a place of calm called the eye of the storm. The very nature of this tropical weather event creates a beautiful sense of calm filled with blue skies and calm. My grandfather used to tell me stories about how some people in the old days had no idea that what seemed as the end of the storm was actually the middle of it. Once the thirty or so minutes of peace were complete, the other side of the storm came back with a vengeance with winds just as strong and scary as the original ones, but this time in the opposite direction. Not being ready for this second run of chaos was always more damaging than the first part. I too am aware that I am currently in what seems as the eye of the storm. The difference is that I am actually utilizing this time, this in between chaos state to recharge and hopefully tie down the so easily flown away roof of my life. The only one that could change this from being what I am pretty sure it truly is would be God. In some what seemed to be random occasions the eye of the storm actually led to a less than devastating second part due to the storm actually losing it's might because of how the centered mountains of the island had battled and weakened it's strength. Who knows, maybe the few centered mountains in my life are large enough to have the same effect. Even better, maybe God has taken charge of this story and written a much deserved better ending for us all. Goodnight.

Dad

P.S. - The music video below is really nice...