In search of more...

I remember the first time I saw a picture from NASA's Hubble Space Telescope that revealed what seemed to be thousands of galaxies in the night sky in a small space that could be covered with my thumb at arms length. I was in awe by the spectacular light show that contained what seemed to be billions of stars in such a small area of our night sky. What I instantly learned from this picture was that nothing in life is what it seems. We look into the heavens and are only able to discern a few patterns of light, yet with closer inspection and the help of some of science marvels, the universe opens its doors to show us how incredibly minuscule we are relative to everything else. This image always leaves me holding my breath in awe.

Why is it that science is so able to dig deep into wondrous worlds that are billions of light years away, yet it is so limited in making it's own discoveries inside of our minds? We are capable of such amazing explorations, but when it comes to understanding why and how our brains are wired it seems like we are infants still wearing diapers in knowledge. I do admit that from some of the specialty shows on TV I have seen that some incredible discoveries have been made as to how our brain works. Research is on a constant path of discovering great new clues with regards to the human mind. However, if you compare the wisdom already gained from other subject such as physics, astrophysics, and others, brain science is still more of a question mark than clues to an answer.

Many years back when I was looking for something fun to listen to while driving back and forth from where I live to San Diego, California, I found an amazing audio book by Oliver Sacks titled "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales." In those days my job took me on a one way 100 mile drive several times a week, so I was always looking for something to entertain myself and at the same time learn something new while getting to my final destination. I must of listened to the same audio cassette over ten times before getting bored with it. Oliver Sacks, the same psychiatrist from which later the true story movie "Awakenings" is based on, entrances you with his story after story of cases he encountered in real life with his own patients. One after another he manages to suck you into his world of amazing lives that have been hijacked by different mental deficits, as he calls them. Even now after 11 years of listening to his stories, I still sometimes pop one of the antiquated cassettes into a player to hear it all over again. If you have never heard them, I encourage you to do so even if it is just for entertaining purposes, you won't regret it.

I cannot help but visualize myself as being part of one of Dr. Sacks stories. The collection of symptoms that I have been able to experience during the last 16 years of live of my oldest son are more like an encyclopedia of deficits, than anything else. It is not like I can just open a textbook and pin down with their description on single illness or disability when I desperately read paragraph after paragraph of symptoms and diagnosis. My mind has trouble focusing on anything other than a few signs at a time, but if I could just stay concentrated on the big picture I then discover that it is all too confusing to be able to narrow it down. Anxiety, depression, compulsion, obsessive behaviour, narcissism, sensory integration dysfunction, bi-polar, higher functioning autism, and an amazingly high level of intelligence. What I would give to have the evaluation and opinion of a bright mind such as Dr. Sacks.

Science is such a beautiful consequence of human existence. In it we are able to make discoveries that can guide us to where we came from and hopefully where we are headed. When utilized by great minds, science is a great asset in the mixture that is needed to advance technology. I only hope that at some point in time these same great minds that have so elegantly focused their vision in what is outside of our world will find the urge to redirect their efforts in understanding ourselves. The human brain is a universe in itself that merits just as much dedication and effort in finding it's real potential and all of it's operational mechanisms.

In the meantime, while we are shorthanded in finding answers from the geniuses of our current civilization, I defer to you. If you have any insight, knowledge, or real understanding as to why it is that the teenage mind when wired somewhat differently functions in such a chaotic manner, please feel free to share with the rest of us. I am eager to learn from you.

Dad