Silence...

I realize that I have been all over the place in my posts with respect to my opinion on modern technology and science advancements. If you know me in person you might even think that some of what I have written almost contradicts my lifestyle because of how much I am involved in advanced technology because of my job, my skills, and if you think about it, even this blog. Well, rest assured that I am not an advocate to turning off the switch of progress. I rather you see my opinion more as a brain teaser to stimulate our ability to influence technology in a healthier direction particularly with respect to matters of personal development or sociological and cultural significance. The way I see it, if it does not contribute to making us healthier physically, mentally, or emotionally, then whatever the advancement might be it should probably be revised to do so in some way or another.

I personally find it very interesting to be able to log on to someones profile and find out so much about a person without ever meeting them in person. In the past our lives were limited to physical encounters in order to gain access to any ones likes and desires. Today so much is readily available allowing us to either prepare for any social interaction or simply avoid it. Obviously the caveat is that not everything you read is true, but can that not also be said with respect to what people say? I guess the difference is that in person at least we have the ability assess demeanor or to look into the individuals eyes and take some kind of personal measure as to their sincerity. Nothing will ever replace true first contact, but getting a peek is not necessarily a bad thing.

Another way I have become hooked with progress is in my ability to make contact with those that are important to me while I am not by their side. Not that long ago it was not only difficult, but also expensive to spend any significant time on the phone with out of state family and friends. Today this is so much more affordable and easy to do in my life. Sometime my job takes me away from home for one to two weeks at a time. When I started working and did not have any kids, I actually looked forward to visiting new places and spending a little time wherever I was sent either before or after the job was done. Now days it is much more different since I dread being away too many days without the ability to monitor and keep track of my kids. Part of my job takes me overseas or at least places me in locations in which I have no phone contact. In the past there was not even email, at least now I can try to locate a terminal and send a message to await what I always hope is good news from home.

What about silence? Have you ever experienced a total blackout where power goes off and none of the mechanical and electronic world is able to fill the air with it's non sentient noise? I actually love it when this happens for a short time without messing up my frozen goods. In many ways this is the reason I love to go on long hikes. The farther I get away, the less artificial noises in the air. I think I mentioned in a prior post that being on board military ships is probably one of the noisiest experiences you could ever have in your life. Sure there might be the momentarily passing train, low flying airplane, or obnoxious short muffler motorcycle, but these all tend to fade rather quickly from your space. On board a military ship noise never stops, never. Things are always been fixed, work is always being done, and even when docked in port the vessel has what seems to be a life of it's own generating it's own constant decibel source. On ships such as aircraft carriers the experience is even worse since take off and landings are conducted into very late hours of the night and even if they stopped, so much happens in an over 5000 population floating city that it is pretty much impossible to find a space containing silence in the menu. I take earplugs to be able to muffle the noise level enough to be able to sleep and even sometimes think.

Silence is not always just about physical noise; mental or emotional noise is probably just as difficult to deal with in real life. In fact, these two are probably the main culprits to high blood pressure, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and stress in most people's lives. I am living proof of this since many times I am not able to shut up my brain so that I can truly relax. I remember finally being able to take a vacation with my kids and then wife when my boys were both back in an age that they could enjoy and at the same time not degrade the experience enough to make it worth while. We tested the waters by buying airplane tickets to Vancouver Canada, renting a car upon arrival, and staying at a nice hotel while we drove every day to somewhere fun to visit. With the exception of a few typical annoyances that come with traveling with kids between the ages of 5 and 8 years old, the trip was a complete success. Everyone had a blast and it was extremely good for all of us. When I got back and showed my vacation pictures to friends the most common comment was "wow, you sure do look happy in those picture." I remember looking at them and realizing how content I seemed in every single one of them. Somehow that vacation silenced so much of my emotional and mental noise that it allowed me to recharge, recover, find joy again in the simple act of spending time with my family.

Here I go again, next week I will be gone to do some work in Japan. Trust me when I tell you that I am not bragging, this will be a work trip with less than half a day at the end to do anything that might be construed as fun. I will though try to shut my mental and emotional noise level down as low as possible when I get out in the afternoons so that I can appreciate the location, the people, and I am really hoping the food. My experience has been that it takes me less than a day of being away from the people I love to already miss them. So it is common for me to take advantage of the time away to do a lot of self assessment. Even though I am concerned for their well being, this time allows me to minimize the perception of what might be affecting me negatively, and maximize everything that is making my life better. I believe that not only parents, but also couples could benefit from this kind of time off or temporary separation. I compare it to when I am finally able to go visit Puerto Rico after a very long time, even the air in the island smells better because of the high level of contaminants in Southern California; not to mention being able to eat some of the food I love so much too almost fixes me instantly.

This might sound like a silly advice, but if you are in a stressful situation at home or at work, you should consider where it might be that you need to go to in order to find the right amount of silence so that you can recharge. I am not suggesting you abandon any responsibilities, so this is not about taking a sabbatical for six months or a year, not at all. This is more about discovering what is the right amount of time that you personally need to find a place of silence that will allow you to recharge yourself in a positive way so that life makes sense regardless of your circumstances. Once you have this information then you are able to come back and do this again when your mental or emotional state truly needs it. My experience is that the more often you do this, the less time you require to recharge yourself back to being healthy. This means that if you have never done this before it might take a bit more self reflection time before you get to where you need to be OK. For some it might be yoga, for others fishing, the truth is that it might just be pouring yourself a glass of wine once in a while and sitting in a hot tub all by yourself. I promise you though, if you do take time to discover what and where it is that you need to go in order to find your silence, life will make a lot more sense for you afterwards. Interestingly enough, nothing will change outside or yourself when you return to the your noisy life, but the peace you gained while in silence will be enough to make a huge difference in your outlook of what has been stressing you out.

I have taken what is not my favorite sport, leaving my home full of worries about my oldest son, and turned it into an opportunity to make things better when I get back. I do not like being away, it is against my nature. However, it is what I sometimes need to make myself better. When I do not have a business trip in a long time, I force myself to get away even if it is for half a day so that I can recharge. I find myself sometimes sneaking out to the backyard, hoping the kids won't know that I am there so that I can spend a little me time. By the way, it really helps if you turn off your phone for a bit too, if anything important happens while they are off the message will be there waiting for you anyway.

Dad